Living Resurrected

…a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing. Ecclesiastes 3:4

Before tackling the role of distance in relationships, as usual, I want to point out that distance serves closeness. It is not It’s enemy. For a generation hungry for affection and intimacy in the world, we can almost get angry at this subject if we are honest. Like I said, separation is not an end in and of itself. The story of the Bible is the story of the reconciliation of unsafe relationship and the ultimate destruction of  distance. But in this world distance actually preserves our relationships. This is because, in my opinion, the sin of the ignorance of beauty  stands as our enemy. Beauty becomes dull and unexciting without distance because of the present age blinding our vision over time. Solitude is a helpful answer to today, but not the end of the problem.

we can safely say that in the western culture of the last few decades the value of coming together, living together, and loving together has received more attention than ever before. The healing power of eye contact, of attentive listening, and of the careful touch has been explored by many psychologists, sensitivity trainers, and communication experts… Many, many people suffering from feelings of isolation, alienation, or loneliness find new hope and strength in these experiments in togetherness. [This is] enough to convince a sympathetic observer that a deep need is being responded to. We need each other and are able to give each other much more than we often realize. Too often we have been burdened by fear and guilt, and too long have we denied each other the affection and closeness we rightly desire… Henri Nouwen, Clowning In rome.

When we have discovered a relationship that is somewhat fulfilling, we often end up damaging it when we over use it. We get over excited and realize that it runs out. The real joy and love we received stops giving. Though Our solitude can be in prayer, I am touching a different point. Physical separation does serve a purpose different from cultivating our relationships with God. Having a deep prayer life is assumed throughout all of these posts on community.

I am saying that even when our prayer lives our vibrant, there is still a graying in our minds eye regarding the glory of these close friends and family needing physical separation to thus appreciate once more. This means simply cultivating multiple close relationships in which to draw from. There are times in one relationship where you may be giving more, thus you sill need to be receiving in another. when we receive from the community at largeit keeps us from getting angry and frustrated when one person cannot give it all to us.

You know when a friendship is needing space when the feelings of familiarity come in, wonder begins to leave, and resentment starts it’s take over. You now know that you are no longer loving, which is the message of Christianity. You know when you are committing idolatry when you get angry at your idol for not giving you what you want. It has become sinful. I am not saying separation in the sense of months, but that when you start to feel the familiarity set in two things need to take place. Meditation and space. Sometimes for me this practically looks like refraining from contact a few days. This is not a official announced thing but happens naturally as both parties feel it out and ebb and flow with it.

Thus space actually serves togetherness and love. In order to love well we must become Resoviours already full and vibrant, ready to give. We have received from God, other relationships, and attained grounding in ourselves through momentary space. We keep love alive when we keep the person’s beauty alive in our hearts. thus all of our relationships become appointments to give. God weeps when we do not receive what we need from others in the meantime. and we continue to give from the place of prayer alone until we receive again and can give in an even greater zeal and ease.

Life Can be talked about, scrutinized, lectured upon, and still be held at arms reach. In fact I think it is a very comforting thing to speak of deep concepts of love and how it operates so as to exalted oneself high above those who may not be able to describe it ,yet who experience so much more of it than yourself. It is so easy to look at those people and just wish they didn’t have it. It is so nice to be able to remove our attention from our lack and try to, in some way, comfort ourself with some Defect of the other, escaping the testimony of their superior reality which tears into the heart as a constant reminder of what should be but isn’t.

Envy or self-pity are two alternate ways I think that keep us in one place. They save us from the pain which seeks to change us. This ultimate stagnates our hearts, keeping them in cyclical estrangement from relationship. Envy drives us far away from the very thing we need. We are so often critical toward that we admire and we too often despise that which we deeply ache for. Openness and honesty can bring us so much more. It is difficult when we have asked too frequently, too desperately, too conditionally, or too demanding in the past to believe we can change and asking is still important and matters. No matter how many times we break things with our need, it still matters. We have to stay open.

If we read God’s word yet never touch the depths of satisfaction in relationship to Him and creation woe are we. The reason for spirituality in any context is to give a rule of living which deeply enhances the experience of love inside the world, not only later but now.